Dr. Rohini Khattar's blog...
Just 'Baby Blues' OR 'PPD'
Just 'Baby Blues' OR 'PPD'
Just 'Baby Blues' OR 'PPD'
April 13, 2020
The experience of becoming a mother is unique for every woman in its own way. Feeling of joy,
excitement, the newness of everything, developing new relations, forming new bonds and having a sense of being responsible of someone who is completely dependent on you. At times the feelings of ecstasy are accompanied with worries, fatigue, irritability, mood swings, overwhelming emotions which may be because of sudden changes in the hormones after delivery.
To see your baby grow, achieve new milestones is a delight. But at times after delivery we start
worrying whether we are playing our role perfectly or not, are we capable of taking care of the little
one, what if I am not able to meet the expectations? I want to raise my baby in my own way not the way my parents say; will I be able to resume my job? How will I manage my child when I am off to work? I feel guilty that I’ll have to go back to work or maybe I miss my job, my friends.
It is very common to have such feelings post delivery, these are generally called “Baby blues”, and such emotions get better within two to three weeks once you get adjusted to the new routine of
your life. But at times such feelings persist for several weeks or more and get worse by the day. Such women tend to be gloomy, irritable, have mood swings, fears, stress, and worries in a significant intensity which tend to get severe. Such cases are termed as having, “POST PARTUM DEPRESSION”.
Studies suggest that the global prevalence of Post Partum Depression (PPD) is around 100-150 per
1000 births.
PPD adversely affects the infant-mother relationship and subsequently the growth and development of the child. Unfortunately, earlier not much importance was given to such issues. Today also we do not stand at a much better level but at least such issues have started getting addressed. Mental health issues should not be viewed as a stigma. They are as much as part of being unwell like any other condition in our body.
There are simple ways with which one can cope with it:
1) Give yourself a break-Taking care of the infant is a full time job. Take a 15-20 minutes break
for you to relax, take a quick nap, take a warm bath.
2) Talk it out- How you feel- good, bad, ugly. To have someone to listen to you without judging
you is a blessing. Look out for such support.
3) Ask for support-It gets taxing physically and mentally. At times you start feeling isolated and
lonely. Ask for support/help from your partner/parents/friends.
4) Take care of yourself- Do not skip meals because of time issues. Your body is recovering and
it needs adequate nutrients for repair and healing. Take a walk in the garden, do some
stretching. Do not neglect your body.
5) Time with your partner- Post delivery the relationship with your partner takes a hit. It’s a
phase when the couple is adjusting to the new roles. Help each other out. Talk to each
other; do not take the other person for granted. Work as a team together rather than finger
pointing. It helps strengthen your relationship in the long run.
6) Be a part of communities where you have mothers with similar problems. Listening/reading
about the concerns other people are going through makes you feel that it happens with
many people and it is possible to cope up with the situation.
7) Last and foremost- Develop a bond with your baby. The little cuddles and hugs help release
endorphins in the body which makes a person feel better. Soothing a crying baby,
understanding the needs of your baby help strengthen the relationship.
If you still feel inadequate consult a medical professional for help. Do not suffer, alleviate your
suffering.
http://www.momspresso.com/parenting/article/just-baby-blues-or-ppd-ec63m14d5sup
Time to self heal
Just 'Baby Blues' OR 'PPD'
Just 'Baby Blues' OR 'PPD'
March 27, 2020
We are living in times of panic and fear. But I feel this panic and fear is taking a wrong direction.
Panic is about taking over the counter drugs, spreading messages which have not been validated by the authorities. Fear- there is “morbid fear”. To this same panic and fear we can have a better definition. Panic if you see unnecessary movement around you or if you see people around you not taking adequate precautions. As a responsible citizen, educate people around you. Just by forwarding innumerable messages all we are doing is overloading our phones! “Fear”- let us
overcome it. Fear is spreading faster than virus. Be safe, be calm. You are your own master.
Assurance, counselling work only if we let our minds out of the bounds of fear and let the good
vibrations come in. Eat well, think well. Keep an optimistic attitude. I don’t at all mean that by being positive expose yourself to risk. Take adequate precautions. You have got time with your family/children, utilise it optimally. Get back to your childhood memories. Read with your child, read to your child. Let me add something, we see a lot of parents post about the creative utilisation of
time their children are doing. Don’t get bogged down and end up doubting your kids capability.
Remember each child is unique, don’t take that undue pressure. Create an atmosphere of happiness in the house. Let off the gloomy attitude. Studies indicate that once this phase passes some people might end up in a difficult emotional state. Let yourself not be one of those and help someone around, who you think might fall prey. Let off the gloomy attitude. Listen to music, dance with your children. If you have grown up kids, talk to them. Keep your phones/laptops aside for a while and engage yourself in meaningful conversations with your children. You will be amazed with the depth of their knowledge, they might enlighten you also. Believe me these kids are aware and well read.
Learn some trendy lingo from them, it’ll be fun.
Simply put, we have two ways right now:
1) Be tensed/ fearful- Add to the chaotic situation outside.
2) Calm your mind/be mindful- eat healthy and stay safe.
Take care of yourself and your family; this is all that is required from all of us right now. Time has its course. The wheels will turn, it’ll leave some scars..but this is the time to look within yourself. “Self heal”. There are times when we yearn for a few minutes from our hectic schedule to relax. Make the best of the time you are getting now.
For children, I would advise, utilise your time judiciously. Do things you otherwise don’t get time for.
At the same time, focus on your subjects for the upcoming academic year. Gear yourself up.
Listening to news and keeping yourself updated is important, but limit that to once or twice a day to
avoid unnecessary panic/ chaos.
Life will keep throwing challenges, it is up to us how we deal with them.
https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/article/time-to-self-heal-y0ioe4gksbrc
My Child, My World
Just 'Baby Blues' OR 'PPD'
Struggling with Temper tantrums!
February 25, 2020
Parenting is one the most precious gifts and it comes with a lot of responsibilities, sacrifices and pleasures. We should aim for holistic developments of our child keeping in mind his/her uniqueness. A fish cannot fly and a bird cannot swim.
A newborn is like a seed which can be nurtured into a beautiful flower or with lack of our knowledge even into a weed. Growth promoting awareness and intention can produce smarter, healthier and happier kids. The growth of our child (both mental and physical) starts from the moment of conception. Our mythology also supports the same – We all know that, Abhimanyu learnt the way to enter the “chakravyuh” while he was still in his mother’s womb. He did not know the way out because it is believed that while Arjun was telling the way out, his mother slept. So what we think and not only what we eat, has a direct impact on the fetus during pregnancy. Children start learning even before they are born. Parents continue being the GENETIC ENGINEERS of their children even after they are born. In the Aboriginal culture, prior to conception a purification ceremony is held for the couple. No wonder parents are called children’s first teachers. Children are small creatures with unexpectedly large thoughts. We should appreciate their creativity and uniqueness.
Sigmund Freud coined the term: “INFANTILE AMNESIA”That means children forget whatever happens with them in infancy. But now experimental psychologists and neuroscientists are talking about- “IMPLICIT MEMORY”- Implicit memory is acquired unconsciously and it can affect our thoughts and behaviors. Children while growing up are like a sponge which absorbs whatever is happening around them. Speaking so, we should aim for a parent child relationship which is flexible /adaptable, where there is communication, flexible boundaries and yes discipline too. There are several ways by which we can improve parent child relationship. Elaborating on a few:
· Play games with the child- Play, NOT programming is the key to optimizing the learning and performance of infants and children. Give lot of play time to your child and become a part of it off and on. When a child plays on his own he devices several strategies for problem solving within the play. Once in a while be a part of the games they play. Children tend to share various aspects about them which they otherwise never speak about.
· Casual conversations- Strike a random conversation with your child. In a car/ while going to school or while on an evening walk. There will be no special time to talk. Fill in the gaps with little meaningful conversations.
· Reward the child appropriately- Rewards are not always material. A hug is priceless for your child. A smiley or a star on their hand for a little task they do, matters to them a lot!
· Monitor your child’s attitude- Give them space, its ok if they don’t want to talk for a while. When they come to you listen to them, empathize with their situation before offering advice.
Parenting is an art, each day comes up with new challenges. Patience and perseverance is the key for a healthy parent-child relationship.
https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/article/my-child-my-world-6c4bt3hu2f8r
Struggling with Temper tantrums!
Struggling with Temper tantrums!
Struggling with Temper tantrums!
February 25, 2020
We often come across situations in our everyday life where we feel helpless and agitated. Let me put it in words a few of such incidences that we commonly encounter.
Situation 1:
You are struggling to reach on time for an important event, may be running late too, and there you have your little one who is not ready to leave his toys and get ready. You lose your patience and he/she loses his temper and throws a big tantrum. And there you are further losing your time, spoiling your mood and hence your schedule.
Situation 2:
You go to a mall and your child desperately asks for an ice cream. You go out of the way and get it for him. He’s enjoying the ice cream and then suddenly it falls down. Your child gets upset and starts crying or may be even throws a tantrum...again spoiling the whole family outing.
Are these not common incidences that happen with all of us on daily basis??
We often see children howling and rolling on the floors of toy shops when their demands are not fulfilled. I have seen people giving questioning looks to the parents making them feel more embarrassed and guilty. The child further being scolded by the irritated parents. Matters go from bad to worse.
As a spectator instead of looking irritated with the kids behaviour, can we not give an understanding look to the parent, assuring them that its ok, after all he’s a kid with overwhelming emotions.
There are ways to deal with such situations. I was oblivious as to how to handle them. But then gradually as I grew as a mother (yes we grow and learn each day), I became mindful of that.
It is simple human psychology, when we are upset or angry, do we like it when someone shouts at us or tells us to do something we don’t want to??
NO.
Scientifically speaking when we our angry or upset our mind is blocked, we do not listen and understand, what the other person is saying.
Similarly when our children are upset and we shout at them it further upsets them making the situation even worse. What they need at that time is a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on. When their ice cream falls they don’t need yelling-“What have you done?? Could you not hold it properly?? Such words hurt them. Understand that they lost something which was very precious for them, a thing which they had been desperately asking for, and now it’s gone!
Instead try saying, Oh! I am so sorry it fell down. You had been wanting it since so long. Empathise with them, help them recognise their emotions. Children get overwhelmed easily. They have to be soothed, they need to feel secure. Their little brain is working hard to absorb the complexities of the outside world. Our soothing words can help them make those connections easily.
Gist- Empathise with your child’s emotions. Connect with them, communicate with them!
https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/article/struggling-with-temper-tantrums-uwmcfzvhsaqt
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